Thirty three years ago tonight the man who brought me into this life…. exited his.

 At a Christmas banquet in Montgomery,
 listening to a speech delivered by a friend of mine, Jim Bethea leaned forward onto his lap and silently passed away, sitting next to my mother.

A man of great influence and assertiveness left this life in a quiet manner. 
The paramedics arrived shortly thereafter, but to no avail. 
 If he had any decision in the process…
 he was going to Heaven…he was not going to struggle to remain here, regardless of how much he loved my mother. 
 For his life, after the age of 37,
was given over to the service of Our Lords Work.
 It bothered him that some of his friends, also in
 full-time Christian service, worked at their jobs daily, but seemed to forget for whom they worked. .
In the middle of his frailties he worked to live the life of Christ, and was seeking even to pursue another level at the time he actually went to meet  his real Employer.

 When he died he was 55 years old.

He had engaged in his real calling for less than
20 years. He would admit that he ran from and refused it for about 10-15 years before that.
 While serving as a deacon and assisting in leading his Church, he knew there was another calling on him….but was rationalizing that he had a family and was too old to begin. 
 He was not too old.

 He attended seminary from 37-39 and began work in his first Church about the same time he turned 40. 
In the last 15 years of his life he influenced many young men and accomplished more than he thought he would ever get done. 
Even today, my brothers and I will come into contact with guys between 40-50 years old who
attended or worked at the Summer Camp he ran outside Talledega from 1974-1983. 
They all have the similar comment.

“Your Dad was the greatest influence on my life, other than my own father”.

He was a 17 year veteran of the Marine Corps and Reserves. He raised me like I was a recruit. He was about the same with my two younger brothers. Not quite though. 
He ran the Summer Camp the same way. He played revelry every early morning, he played taps at night. The staff and campers were held strictly accountable. He pushed them beyond their comfort zone. 
And they loved it.

 They responded to the leadership.

 Most young men, although they do not volunteer for it…. like discipline. 

They like a coach who pushes them to their better efforts. They respond to accountability. 
That is what these now-middle-age men tell my brothers and I that they loved about my Father. 
It has worked to make me a better Man, as well.

He was hard on me. Excessively at times.
But it worked to my betterment.

Being pushed and having discipline does not harm a boy….it most times creates a strong Man. 

Because life, many times, pushes and disciplines all of us as we make our way through it.
 

I would say my Father prepared me for that.

 In my years I have been blest to accomplish a few things. But, I will never have the influence my father exerted.
 My two brothers have had great influence as they have taught and lead young guys for over 25 years in Montgomery.
There was recently a long and fantastic article in the Montgomery Advertiser about them and their influence on the young men there. The author called me to get input on them.
He made the comment that he was leaving Montgomery for employment at another paper…
 but that before he left, there was a story that had to be written… 

the story of my two brothers. 
 That…. more than anything I have done… is a testimony to the life of our Father.

When I see or talk to family members, they tell me they see my Father in me so much. I was much taller than he was and I look nothing like him, for I favored my Mother in appearance. 

But I do have him in me.

Many of my actions and expressions come from him. It tend to touch and rotate the rings on my fingers as I speak, as he did. My firm opinions follow his tendency as well. He was the most consistent person, in his instruction to me, that I have come into contact with. He called me “little man” one time when I was 10 years old and I can recall and take you to the exact place in Miami, Florida on 117th Avenue South where he said it. It made me feel 10 feet tall. 

I have outlived him.

But I will never out do him.

Terry

December 20, 2016

Think back, if you are over 30,
to what you wanted to be…
” when you grew up”.

Remember the thoughts and dreams you had almost daily of becoming that which you held in the front of your mind. Plans were made, practices were
gone through.

At one point I wanted to be a professional athlete in whatever sport was in season at the time.
As a young boy I was aspirational without the understanding to facilitate those dreams.
I saw the desire with my eyes and felt it, even deeply in my heart… without any understanding in my brain.

There were some achievements and successes …but they mostly failed to reach the earlier aspiration.

Browning wrote…
” a man’s reach should exceed his grasp or what’s a heaven for”.

As we grow and mature we see many of those younger-life hopes and dreams expire. Practicality and sometimes life itself bring different and varied results and circumstances can dictate where our steps take us.

One thing I have seen
as a grown Man,
one thing that is, to me, essential to always growing and getting better….
and I have seen that it pays great dividends and brings continual Light into life…

it is essential for a continually growing and energized life…

to always be Aspirational.

No matter ones age,
No matter ones station in life.

Be continually aspirational.

Hope for a better year this than last.
Work toward it.

Always be teachable,
and seek to learn new or deeper things.
Take the steps, read the books, attend the meetings…..
to get better.

To improve.
To increase your abilities.

To be the fullest of whatever you can be.

In an earlier writing I quoted
TD Jakes as he answered an interviewers question.

He was asked why, after having such great success, was he now expanding his ministry, getting into so many new things…

Jakes answered…..

” I want to see what’s in me”.

He is 59 years old.

I know exactly what he is saying.
And, I agree.

If you are 25 and seemingly have your life ahead of you…
you might think a 59-60 year old would be ready to retire and ” get off the stage”.

Yet, TD Jakes wants to push himself to greater things.

It is, indeed, a process.

Aspiration.

You might not be young ….
but you can keep a youthful and
hopeful heart and mind if you continue to pursue greater things… seek more out of life and faith,
and aspire to “see what’s in you”.

It creates an attitude of youthfulness and energy.

Continue to make plans and look expectantly forward.

I hope to have a deeper walk with my Lord….going forward…and will read His Word daily to do my part.

I will work to be better at my craft in my 32nd year than this my 31st.

Tomorrow may be my final day of life…but I choose to live today with an aspirational heart and spirit.

My hope for you is that your dreams will still exist and your reach will always exceed your grasp.

Hope for deeper and better things.
Work toward them with all of your gifted talents and abilities.

We may be older and wiser than when we had a lower number for an age…

but that does not negate a youthful, energized and hopeful heart or mindset.

Hope.
Dream.

Aspire.

Forever.

In almost any situation, the white dress shirt upgrades a man’s look.

Along with a suit, tie or not, the white dress shirt gives a man a look which is correct in the Boardroom or any business or semi-special occasion.

These comments are somewhat societal and cultural, using clothing as the expression.

About twenty-five years ago, the United Way had the idea to increase donations by encouraging management to allow for CASUAL FRIDAY if their particular organization met their fund-raising goals. 

Casual Friday was the beginning of the downfall of proper business attire.

Many Human Resource Directors agree today that the issue of proper attire is one of their headaches.

When I was in college there was a guy who always wore a white dress shirt. 

He always looked right.

During the 60s and 70s wild colors were in vogue in men’s clothes…..

and I wore them.

But, to quote the Apostle Paul,

” when I was a child I thought as a child…. but when I became a man I put away childish things”

If you think I am comparing wearing a white dress shirt to acting like a man… 

you are on the right track.

Do the men and boys at your Church dress like the men and boys dressed when you were young and growing up?

If you are honest….the answer is no.

This might be a stretch….
but the way one dresses can affect
the reverence with which one approaches worship

The slouching of standards and codes can, over time, cause a slouching of attitudes and thought.

If you knew Christ would physically be at Church…

would you dress casually….. ????

Would you allow your son to wear shorts?

It is about the inner man…

but how one readies for worship
can impact that worship.

The words “Sunday Best” meant something up until a few years ago. 

And…it’s not a bad phrase.

Formality in business attire was a standard as well, until the “Casual days” became everyday.

I am not espousing wearing a tuxedo everyday.

But I am asking you to consider
the approach to your dressing 

and the attitude which can follow it.

Everything is not formal.

And, everything is not casual.

The way one dresses for an occasion many times can speak non-verbally about the value they place on that event.

The white dress shirt lends a particular look to ones attire.

It’s classic.

There is nothing wrong with dressing up …. 

even a bit.

Nowadays a white dress shirt almost sets one apart. 

Unless you are in the woods… it probably sets one apart to the positive.

Or, like properly cared-for shoes…
it might not be so great a positive…
but it’s never a negative in a social or business setting.

If we, as Men,

are to set standards and examples…

one simple, non-verbal way would be to put to work the traditional and classic white dress shirt.

Lightly starched.

So many people say one thing and do another. While looking as though they care, they are self-serving and could care less about your interests.
Most likely, you have known people who smile at your face but cut you to shreds when your back is turned.

There are those you reach out to who refuse to get along.

One or two, or maybe more people come to mind as you read those words.

Other people would give you their last dollar. Some people would help you even when it was to their detriment to do so.

You can probably recall kindnesses done your way.

Why though, does it seem that so many people tend to focus on those who wrong them… not those who have treated them well.

Hurts are remembered and grudges seem to grow worse over time.

In thinking about all of these people..
those who would treat you well and those who seek to do you harm, or those you just have difficulty with… look at them, consider their actions and see them for who they are….

 

every one of them is a soul who Christ died for.

 

Each and every one is forgiven by The One Who died for and forgave you.

 

See them for who they are.

All human beings who walk this earth, today,
in the past,
or in the years to come,
are equally loved, forgiven and sought after by The Son of God.

The Word of God was written to and for them, as It was for you.

We are all on equal footing there.

The inequality comes in the next steps of acceptance and communion.
While everyone has been forgiven, not all have walked through repentance and accepted the Great Gift.

Therefore,
let us look through any difficulty,
through any conflict,
and know that the other person in the mix is one to whom Jesus spoke. and speaks to and seeks after.

Paul wrote his letters for them to read.
Davids’ Psalms and Proverbs hold equal meaning and opportunity for those who read them as for those who ignore them.

Pray for these people ….
that they would be drawn to Christ as you were.

Pray for those who have spoken ill of you, for those who are difficult… just as you do for your best friend.

Christ gave His Life for them.

Seek to have the eyes of Jesus and see these people you have trouble liking, as He sees them.

See them for who they are.

Terry
November 2016

Thankfulness did not originate in New England with the Pilgrims.
It did not grow out of a holiday on the fourth Thursday in November.

Thankfulness might have originated in The Garden when Adam saw Eve.
God Himself created and fashioned her, so she might have been one to be thankful for. And, there were no others around.

Thankfulness is present at all points in life. It does not merely exist at a House of Worship, or only when you sit to eat and possibly bow you head in prayer. Thankfulness does not exist only at birthdays and Christmas when receiving a gift.

These are things you know…..
but are you constantly aware of the daily sense of THANKFULNESS we should possess??
Every day there are multitudes of reasons to both feel thankful and to express thankfulness.

The breath you breathe,
the eyes through which you see,
the heart that beats with life,
your Woman who is your Wife.

Many rhymes could be written here, but every day that Light arises from the East there are things to be thankful for.

As the Greeks used to pray to an unknown god before Paul introduced them to his… we can be thankful for some things we are even unaware of.

Do you not think that there are events or occurrences in life which occur for yours or someone’s benefit of which you are not aware?

Being thankful or expressing thankfulness for those things allows us to acknowledge God in His Sovereignty….even when we might be blinded to It, or unable to see It.

Do you SEE Gravity?
You see the effect of It, you cannot lay eyes on It.
As the Wind… the result of It can be seen…but the Wind Itself is unseen. You feel It and experience It without viewing It.

Like Gods Presence.

There are unseen movements and events which have worked to our good… of which we cannot and will never tangibly see.

But we can be Thankful for these even when there is no person to thank.

Thankfulness is real enough to be present when there is no recipient to express It to… in those moments… you thank The Father for His Providence and His Orchestration of Life.

There is a mind behind these unseen things.

Grateful Thanksgiving arises from the heart and mind when we realize this.

Expressing Thankfulness exercises the humility we need present in our life.

Verbally expressing Thankfulness
not only exercises humility within us, It builds up those we speak It to.

In the existence we dwell in of comfort, security, peace and shelter…it can be that we lack the edge to see that those things in themselves…to the degree we experience them…are worthy of great Thanksgiving.

They cannot be taken for granted.

Try going out into the woods in November, naked, without shoes, with nothing over your head but the night sky…. you will quickly long for and seek
comfort, security, peace and shelter.

Because we have them in abundance is no reason to exclude them from expressed thanksgiving.

When we realize and express a grateful heart for not merely the big things… but for those things we have experienced forever…that are so familiar … we begin to know real and true Thanksgiving.

As your heart beats and gives you every moment of your life… be ever thankful for each of those moments.

A true sense of Thanksgiving will outlast the beat of your heart.

Terry
November 2016

The heading says it all.

I am pulling for them, but if the Cubs win the 2016 World Series, they will no longer be the lovable “Cubbies” they have been since before we were all born.

One of the appealing elements to The Cubs has been their ineptitude.

Wrigley is beautiful once you get inside. It takes you back to when baseball was seen once a week on black and white small screens. If they win, then new things will be required.

Ernie Banks was so appealing when he wanted to “play two”…..even though the assumption was that the Cubs would lose both.

Leon Durham’s error against the Padres was almost as egregious as Buckner’s….it simply wasn’t in the World Series. Will Jon Lester enter into that category because he cannot field a bunt or hold a runner on first. As great a pitcher as he is, and he was the first to sign and  come aboard this new winning team playing in Cubs uniforms….. there is a similar angst in his inability to execute a fundamental part of pitching and the frustrating beauty of players like Banks, Sandberg, Williams, Wood, Pryor and others who played so well yet lost so often when it counted.

Greg Norman was a great golfer who became a greater businessman. However, on the golf course he was looked upon with sympathy because he had come so close, so many times.

My case in point…..

Were the Red Sox not a more lovable team before they slayed the Dragon and beat the Yankees in 2004…???  Did they not elicit more passion and emotion from the continually suffering New Englanders in 1978 and in 2003 than they brought  Joy AFTER winning in 2004 and again in 2007….?

It’s not the same as it was, in Fenway.

Some people think they are now look no different than……

I look both ways before saying this….

The YANKEES.

 

If The Cubs win….more will be expected. More will be required.

Look at the team this year….best record in baseball, maybe the MVP, the team felt no pressure, they were the BEST TEAM IN BASEBALL. Did not the fans expect more than winning one game of the three at WRIGLEY?  Maybe had they played during the day….the advantage might have been Chicago’s. But in the Series you play at night.

New requirements.

If they win, as happened in Boston…many fans will finally die happy.

If they win…many fans will be deliriously happy…..until April, 2017.

 

Rather that hoping and longing for their “Cubbies” to win….there will be the EXPECTATION of winning again.

Big difference between hope and expectation…especially after accomplishing what was thought to be impossible.

 

Are Yankees fans satisfied with making the playoffs?

Are Lakers fans pleased that the team might be better this year and simply be competitive???

Do Alabama football fans feel good about simply having a winning record..???

When winning happens….the bar of expectation rises and the fans no longer accept losing…..you cannot be a lovable loser after having won a Championship.

Is that not true Mets fans???

 

Its great to win it all. But the next year brings a new barometer of success.

When you taste winning there is no longer an appetite for just doing well.

 

The Cubs will no longer be “The Cubbies” if they win.

 

Terry

November 2016

 

Mark Price was an NBA player, from Georgia Tech, played mainly for Cleveland….long before LeBron.

He was quite good, played for several years on the Cavs team which might have won a title were it not for a guy in Chicago named Michael.

He told the story to a group of men once of the constant presence, at the arenas, and at the luxury hotels in which they stayed… of beautiful women.

Dressed up.

Always around.

You know what I mean.

He did not implicate any teammate,
but mentioned how the temptation was always present.

He and his wife had an agreement.

After every road game he would call home….briefly speak to his wife and children…before going to eat.

After dinner, upon returning to his hotel, he would call again. He would talk and spend time on the phone with his wife.

The calls were not made out of fear
or anxiety or because his wife was ragingly jealous.

The calls were made for connection.

They were made to remind him of what his life revolved around.

His God.
Home.
His wife.
His children.

He was gone, sometimes for 7-10 days at a time.

As a veteran, he saw in the lives of teammates, the results of traveling and never connecting to home.

When you feel ten feet tall and bulletproof, as most professional athletes naturally do….
Mark Price learned that connection to the foundations of his life were more important than getting temporary affirmation or adoration.

When I thought of this earlier today,
the suggestion came to me that….
whenever we feel temptation, or the
desire to look for the second time,
or when we realize we have held a look too long…
connection to what is TRUE is needed at that moment.

An idea….

when you realize that you are looking beyond merely noticing or thinking about it…

PHONE HOME.

It’s connection.

It’s accountability.

It will stop the thought….
as you engage with your wife and children.

It’s protection and connection.

When you connect to or affirm what is TRUE and Foundational… and when you bring LIGHT into a situation the unimportant slouches back away,
into the dark,
where it resides.

Stay connected.

To what matters.

Terry
November 2016

Be confident and assured in this season.
Speak with strength and the assurance you gain daily from your relationship with God and His Word.

Your wife and children will hear your frustration, your anger, your anxiety …
your negativity and condemnation toward him or her or toward whoever is talking on television… if you speak it. You might appear no different than those speaking on television….to those in your house.

They see, through that, who you are in times that are challenging.

Think about that before you speak…
those who hear you  will many times repeat and learn, then speak, that same attitude.

Speak from the strength you have been gifted,
Speak in the assurance that nothing is happening that surprises Our Creator.

Speak confidently about the future.

Your wife and children need to see that strength in the midst of all the weakness out there.

You are the Source of Strength to all in your family.
Think of that and assume that position before any words exit your mouth.

The ones who hear you will profit.

Terry
October 2016

 

Sounds peculiar

Outlast yourself.

But if you are a somewhat mature person, you understand.

My worklife is filled with the effort to make money outlast the people who temporarily possess it.

Spiritually and influentially we should be working to build a life and an effective witness which will outlast our own lives.

If we care enough to invest in ourselves and the Gifts given us and then take that to get involved with and Impact others …. 

lasting Influence can occur.

Do you think the young Billy Graham ever thought as he was hanging from trees and pretending he was Tarzan….that he would have eternal influence on the whole world ?

As he began preaching to
Youth for Christ groups across the country, do you think he felt that he would be listed as one of the worlds most admired people over 55 times since 1955, more than any other individual since George Gallup began the List?

He had a large visual influence and
influence which was almost unnoticed. 

He counseled Presidents and led great multitudes to Christ……

but you probably do not know that in 1963 he posted bail for Martin Luther King at the Birmingham jail.

He counseled Presidents and yet when I saw him in Miami Beach, in the early 60’s …I felt as if he spoke individually to me.

He simply did his upmost with what was given him.

He fully exercised his gift in whatever was laid out for him to do.

He did not quit when he reached “ retirement” age.

That “r” Word is not in Scripture.

Obedience precedes lasting Influence.

Obedience to what you feel driven to do.

It happened with Mr. Graham, Joyce Meyer, Chris Hodges……it can with you as well.

Its a principle not confined to our young years.

It’s a principle not confined to spiritual things.

Yet it is most eternal and positive in it’s Influence that way.

Lennon and McCartney have lasting Influence that has surpassed what they could have dreamed as they grew up in Liverpool and grinded in the basement clubs in Hamburg. 

Yet, will that Influence be of real effect or value 100 years from now?

Albert Einstein had great influence and still does. And will for generations.

Adolph Hitler will most likely never be forgotten, as will Genghis Khan and Alexander.

Hitler still effects thought. But, it is to the negative.

Jesus and His  remaining influence is without compare. 

Its effectual, constant and contemporary and eternal.

Thomas Jefferson. CS Lewis.
Winston Churchill.
These have left great and positive influence

We may not have or leave Influence as  these three …. but they did not think they would early on. 

Jefferson suffered greatly in the loss of his two sisters and lingered in loneliness and abandonment until two professors, George Wythe, and William Small invested themselves in him. 

C.S. Lewis fell away from his faith early on and was drawn back to the Anglican Church at the age of 32 by the INFLUENCE  his friend, JRR Tolkien.

Churchill asserted himself in his young years and on into his eighties. He was of great influence, fell out of favor….was persistent in his stances and non negotiables…and eventually was the major and motivating force in the preservation of the sovereignty of England.

Lead your life to have an Impact.

If you do that….you will leave an Impact.

Decipher what it is and then Pursue your passion and calling diligently.

Pursue it and push after it with your full involvement.

Be consistent in it.

Do not stop working at it ….even after reaching age 65.

The results and the lasting effect are up to others.

Lead a life that will outlast you.

Make a mark.

Not many people get a statue ….

but your stature can effect and influence lives for many generations …and some for eternity.

And, as long as you have the breath of God in you, you should keep at it.

 

 

When you read the Scriptures do you retain it in your “heart” as well as your head ?

It is said that a politician once made the comment that they read The Bible and sought ethical guidance from It.

There is no better place to receive ethical guidance.
There is no better place to receive practical knowledge about relationships and moral living.
Reading Proverbs and learning Its lessons would allow one to exist peacefully and well in any society.

The Pharisees knew the ethical attributes and exact wording of the Law and The Old Testament….yet Jesus came strongly against them, condemned their arrogance for knowing the Scriptures but refusing the spiritual aspect.

He railed against them because they had grown to feel superior through their mere knowledge, they had grown irresponsible to their flock because they had retained knowledge without having that knowledge affect their hearts.

It did affect their behavior…although not to the positive.

Too much pure knowledge will lead to conceit and retreat from those lacking the same.

Too much knowledge without the affectation of a tender spirit and humbled heart will lead to Pharisee-type attitudes and an outlook that those without the “superior” knowledge are beneath you.

Paul was sent into the Arabian desert, not to become a  scholar of the Law….
he had that retained knowledge when he was Saul and killing messianic Jews.

He was sent into the desert to receive instruction from the same Comforter and Counselor from Whom we receive instruction.

He was sent there for 1000+ days to gain time and the influence of experience….and a humility before the Author of that experience.

Knowledge and Humility along with experience gives one a deep abiding, assured
and secured position in their spiritual walk.

 

EPINOSIS is deep experiential knowledge.

 

It is the melding of The Word and The Experience of walking over time, in and with, The Spirit of God.

It’s similar to the longing and yearning of courtship combined with the committed and completed vows and sanctification of marriage…. over time.

These two together promote the deep experiential knowledge of each other that comes slowly to a couple walking together through life and it’s winding road.

Scriptural, or better yet, spiritual
EPINOSIS allows the pursuant believer to LIVE the LIFE of Christ
and to fully and humbly translate the Christian experience to those unfamiliar with it…..without seeming “holier than thou”.

Pursue scriptural knowledge.
It’s our weapon to combat and refute the attacks of our common enemy.

If successful Christian lives teach us anything, it’s that knowing Scripture, along with a continually deepening, experienced walk with The Holy Spirit
brings an existence which will be noticed because of its difference from the walk of others.

It’s a life and a walk that will be looked at and longed for by those around you.

It’s a life getting close to the intentionality of The Creator.

And when they inquire of you…
as to the Hope and Peace within you,
you will be able to give voice and reason, with humility, for those gifted traits.

 

Terry
from September 2016