Don’t Wait on Them

 

You have to go and get them.

People sometimes come to you and seek friendship, communion and relationship.
However, things do not get done,
friendships are not developed if we sit and wait on others to come to us.

More than likely,
if you are married……
when you advanced in the relationship you have with your wife to the point of getting engaged…you asked her to marry you.

You pursued her,
you courted her,
you went to pick her up for most of,
if not all of your dates….
then, eventually,  you asked her the question.

You did not sit at your house waiting on her to come to you.

You sought her out.
Won her over.

You did not wait on her.

Do not wait to get what you want.

Excluding the patience we are instructed to walk in through Christ….                               and there is a place for that….
we make things happen in our life.

Waiting on The Lord is done when you hear from him instructing you to do so.

Short of that…
you do not sit and wait.

We would still be living in caves if everyone did that.

The job you have was most likely one you applied for,
one you went after.

You go to buy groceries.
You go to get the things you need.

In Matthew 28….
Jesus said to His Disciples to sit in Jerusalem and wait on the world to come to them.

Oh…..
if you know that Chapter then you have already corrected me.

He told them to ….
“Go, and preach.”
“Go, and make disciples.”
“Go, and spread this Gospel.”

The instruction was to go and get them.
Not to wait on them.

 

The example has been set.

 

Do not wait in your church pew for people to come and ask about  JESUS.

Go get them.

Do not sit in your chair and wait on people to pursue you for friendship.

House are not build by themselves.
Hammers are used, nails are driven,
paint is brushed on, doors are hung.
Effort is extended.

Introduce yourself.

Pursue them.

It worked with your wife.

It will work with new friends and new relationships.

Their lives can be changed by your
effort of getting involved with them.
Your life can be elevated by the effort extended to pursue new relationships.

Don’t wait on them.

 

 

terrybethea.com

Me first…..?

The most widely read and followed book in our lives tells us to tend to ourselves first.

Only then after getting our own individual house in order… can we influence correctly,
lead appropriately,
or even hope to be followed.

In most any endeavor,
it’s not a “them”
or really even a “we” thing…
it’s almost always a “me” thing.

Rick Warren-opened his best selling book with these four words…. “It’s not about you”

I agree completely.

Life is NOT all about us.

But we have to tend to ourselves before we can worry about, tend to,
or try to influence or lead others.

Get the beam out of your own eye before trying to remove the speck in someone else’s eye.

Love your neighbor….as yourself.

These two well known phrases tell us to take care of our own issues… then go out to
positively affect others.

Jesus retreated many times…
to pray,
to meditate,
to commune with His Father.

He set our example.
He studied Scripture even though He Was The Word.

Before and after ministering, He
went off by Himself, many times,
to tend to Himself and commune
with Our Father.

When you travel by airplane,
if it’s a commercial flight
you have heard the attendants say the same instructions for years.

“When the mask drops from above your head…
place the mask over your mouth and head first…
before giving assistance to anyone else.”

I must look at myself first,
inspect myself first,
tend to my heart first,
check my spirit and motive first,
and be honest with myself first……
before I can do any of these things
for any other person.

If I am healthy inwardly ….
then as a part of a greater group
I am helping that group be healthy.

If I am spiritually healthy …
I am assisting in the spiritual health
of a greater Group.

If we each tend to our own selves first,
we are,
before we say a word,
before we think a good thought about someone else…
we are helping those around us.

If I set myself straight,
or get help in doing so…
then I am taking steps to create
“straightness” all around me.

Because I am a part of a greater whole I contribute and affect those around me.

Read 1Corinthians 12: 14-31

I must tend to whatever part of the “body” I am….
so the whole body is healthy.
All parts matter.

May I look at the face I see in the mirror and set that face straight…. judge that face first,
Inspect that heart first,
check those motives first….
submit my thoughts, actions, words
to The Lord first….

before I judge others
inspect others,
check others,
think about others
act or speak to
or about anyone else.

I need to clean up my own yard before commenting on the neighbors.

The whole neighborhood gets better if I look to my house and yard first.

Welcome

Have you heard Francesca Batistelli’s song….HOLY SPIRIT…???

If you have attended a worship service in the past year or two you have most likely heard it or even sung it yourself.

It is a song that draws the one listening into close proximity to a prayerful worship attitude.

After hearing this song a few times
I gathered a whole new meaning from it.
Maybe you received this the first time you heard it.

It took me a few times.

I believe the deeper message that
Francesca sings is not about the
“atmosphere” in. a church building.

“Flood this place and fill the atmosphere” …..
to me is a call of invitation to the Presence of God
to fill the atmosphere…..

within me.

Within my heart.

In my spirit.

In my mind.

For if my heart,
my spirit
and my mind
is occupied by the Presence of God…..

I am in line to truly worship….
I am in line to truly receive from God.

It’s the attitude we need to have each time we walk into a worship service…. each time we approach God
in prayer.

In a corporate setting…
if it’s the atmosphere of the building
which is filled with Gods Spirit…
great things can occur.

If the atmosphere is extended to the inner sanctum if each individual heart, each individual spirit
and each individual mind……

then the room,
and each worshiper in the room
is at the place for God’s Holy Spirit
to truly be empowered,
glorified and exercised.

When Jesus’ Disciples were in one place and of one accord…… the Holy Spirit descended and
invaded not merely the room they were in….
but He invaded their individual
hearts and minds….

and that small number changed the world.

The next time you hear
Francesca’s song….
place your hand on your heart ….
and say the words ….
“Holy Spirit you are welcome here.
Come flood this place
and fill the atmosphere”……..

and allow that place to be your own
heart.

And be prepared to be invaded.

Undefinable and Indescribable

In the past six weeks my family has lived through the death of my younger brothers wife and the birth of my youngest brothers first grandchild.

Undefinable loss
and indescribable joy.

The passing of a woman I have known for over 40 years was prefaced by three and one half years of pain, prayer, belief and encouragement while she fought, and was several times triumphant over an enemy inside her body…. that unwelcomed visitor eventually squeezed the life out of her.

And it was a great,
beautiful and peaceful life she walked through. She blest my brother with love, commitment and two great sons….
and exampled for all of us patience,
a quiet nature, encouragement and a peaceful spirit.

The birth of a young boy was known to be coming over the past several months. Those few months were filled with anticipation, planning, prayer and some pain.
Just a few days ago the process came to fruition and the welcomed life inside my niece was pushed out of the comfort of her womb to the the uncertainty of life.

The little boy has a great legacy of life to grow into.

His young life will most likely not be very quiet, it will be one where he requires the patience of others, and his nature and spirit will eventually be revealed.

While my sister-in-law moved from
the visible life here,
to another existence we cannot see but have absolute assurance about…
the young boy went from a visible but unseen existence into the life we all know, live and breathe in.

I had great affection for and possess a lifetime of remembrance surrounding my brothers wife. There are over 40 years of visual,
and audible experiences with her.

With this new little boy I have no connection save for the love I automatically have for him through the life I have experienced with his grandparents, his mother and father.

The coming and going of life,
the tears that come from one leaving
and that come from another arriving,
leads us to know that this existence
is sometimes undefinable and indescribable.

I believe both of these souls are getting definition….
beyond our comprehension.

The little boy has sight,
he is seeing everything …
with no understanding to define it.
He cannot yet put words to the wonder he sees.

My sister-in-law had sight here…
has sight where she now is,
and is in an existence where understanding is now perfectly clarified and defined. She has words to describe it but
we might not be able to fathom the Wonder she is beholding.

There is pain and joy in both of these experiences.

Pain in the sense that life will be different.
That one home which was full of her
life, smile and beauty no longer has that presence…..
while another home that was quiet will be full of
crying, toys, movement and noise.

Joy is present in the knowledge that the woman we knew and loved is in the Presence of Christ, and is experiencing forever the now fulfilled promise of Faith.
While a young boy we love already and will grow to know is in our presence and is experiencing the fulfilled hope of the love of his parents.

This life is full and filled with Promise.
Full of the beauty of Creation, filled with the hope of our parents and our own hearts, full of family and the colors and experience of Life.

This life is also full of joy and pain …..the joy of success and happiness along with the pains of struggle and failure. The pain of loss and the joy of new birth.

Tears shed from pain come from the same eyes that cry tears of joy.

In the past few weeks,
the eyes of my family have shed tears of pain,
and tears of joy.

Those tears were shed about
LIFE…..
the ending and the beginning of
varying existences.

The comfort I take in both of these circumstances is that the existence, I know and the one I do not yet know….
are in the Hands of The One Who gave this very life to me, and has prepared the next for me, as well.

It is easy to give explanation to the hope of assurance that has become the experience of life.

It is hard to perfectly define and describe an assurance I possess…. that I have not physically experienced.
But, I walk in that assurance everyday.

The two people I have written about today are newly experiencing that Assurance ….now realized … through physical and spiritual
definitions.

Undefinable.
Indescribable.

October 2017

Look…..and See

Have you walked in the door at home and seen a particular look on your spouses face and knew something was not quite right?

Have you looked at a friend while meeting them for lunch and knew something was amiss?

This is true for both genders in our
specie.

If you do not notice the look on your spouses face or on a friends face… it might be that you are not really looking at them.

To notice some things you must hold the look for a bit.

If you never notice these looks…
you are blind …
or most likely unwilling to admit it because you fail in desiring to know what the look means or you fail in wanting to take the steps to address it.

Early in a relationship everyone notices each other.
And wants to help.

The real concern is with what happens after years together…. and growing accustomed to a face.

An encouragement…
work on looking at the face of your spouse, and holding that look… to decipher what might be going on in their heart and mind.

There is a commercial running on television currently regarding depression.

It shows various men and women in social circumstances holding up a happy face… while behind it they have a look of pain on their actual face.

As adults and mature humans,
we should possess the ability to look and see, either in the eyes or maybe the way they are holding their mouth… the emotions they are feeling or the
pain they are carrying….
or maybe the weight that the events of their day has burdened upon them.

I believe very few things are more important than taking the time to look and notice the look on that face you should be seeing when you or they walk through the door.

I used to tell my nieces to smile with their eyes and not merely show their teeth as they were having pictures taken.

One can figuratively
“put an hanger in your mouth”
and show a smile.

A mouth can smile
even as the eyes show great pain.

You know that look….
you see it at a funeral on those people standing next to the box. It’s called a “brave face.”

If you see a “brave face” when you walk through the door…
understand you need to address it.

You must look and notice it first.

As we notice that something is not
quite right…
we must take the next and difficult step to ask the question.

And, not to accept what many times is an answer like….”I’m Fine”.

When I have had that answer spoken to me….
I usually reply that I can see another answer written all over their face.

At times they do not want to bother you with it.

Be willing to be bothered a bit.

The person you care about behind that hurting look or that furrowed brow is worth the bother.

Many times, after holding the look, and not merely walking by and blowing them off, the next thing you hear will be a stating of the problem.

Know that your reaction to that might determine their attitude for some time to come.

If you curl up your mouth or roll your eyes because you have “heard it before” ….
you might get shut out for some time.

You might need and they might need you to say nothing other than “Talk to me”.

You might need to do nothing other than to go hold them for a minute.

If you have ” heard it before”….
be careful to not say that….
and refrain from finishing any sentence beginning with …
“I told you………..”

These moments are not for scolding.
They are more for listening and making an attempt to understand.

Silence with your ears willingly open
to their monologue might be the remedy they need.

Much of psychological consultation is allowing a person to talk and simply get their feelings or emotions out and expressed.

None of this can happen though if you do not notice the look on their face.

Notice the look on their face.

Look…….
at the people in your life.

Look long enough to notice and see
them and what they are carrying on their shoulders.

Look……
notice….
and inquire …
and give them some time to vent,
to express their burden
and share
what only you might be able to fix.

Assessment

Heard a football coach talking about the upcoming season today.

In a passing comment he said….

“In order to improve, you have to be able to self-assess”. 

Difficult to do.

That’s what we leave up to parents, teachers and coaches when we are young. They assess our performance, our efforts and our results.

They make judgements. They consider what it might take for us to maintain or improve. They change or affirm what we are doing.

They assess us.

In that passing comment, the coach gave insight to what it really takes to improve and succeed.

For parents, teachers and coaches can do everything within their power and  ability to influence us.

That outside influence and instruction teaches and can motivate and even bring good results.

However, until we become able to look at ourselves, with truthful honesty and clear introspection…and assess our own selves…and our own abilities and performance….we will not have lasting success.

Athletically, Michael Jordan looked at himself honestly after losing to the Detroit Pistons in the 1990 playoffs. He saw a great player. A league leading scorer. A top level talent.

But he knew that Detroit was going to put him down on the court when he drove toward the basket. He knew they were going to play overly physical with him to tame his ” high wire” game.

He also knew that to take the next step toward a title… he and his team from Chicago would need to get past Detroit.

He looked at himself and saw a physical frame that was too thin. Perfectly athletic and capable of great things… but not capable of enduring the rigors of surviving the physical play.

He inspected himself and saw something lacking.

To improve…he did a self-assessment.

He surmised that strength was needed. A more muscled frame was needed. A frame that would enable him to withstand the push and pull of physical play.

He went to the weight room.

After his assessment of himself he committed to changing his body into what he knew was needed.

Along with the stronger physical frame…and as an after effect of the commitment…came a stronger and tougher mindset. His team followed suit.

That Assessment and the subsequent commitment led to six championships and the label of being the greatest of all-time.
“To improve … you have to be able to self-assess.”

No coach could have created that change or that committnent in Michael.

No coach or trainer or parent or teacher can create the needed change and committnent in you or me…enough to realize a success that can endure.

Outside influence can bring momentary success.

Inner assessment and committment though, can develop the one given to them into a champion that can create a success process which paves the way to a continual and memorable achievement.

I have done this myself.

In the Summer of 1994, I came upon an additional way of doing business, Through a relationship with a great man from Mississippi, I learned a method of business that brought and still to this day brings great business and results.

 In late February, 2003  I sought out research to better able me to do what was needed. I was lacking.  That research lifted me to another level of ability to better serve the people I served.

Early in 2010, after hearing what a client wanted, and knowing it was not in my “sweet spot” at that time, I did an assessment, made a decision and formed a partnership with another advisor, who was experienced and efficient in what I was not efficient at. That decision and the subsequent partnership has benefitted many clients, that  fellow advisor ….and myself with business and added ability and insight.
In the late spring and summer of 1971, a very successful football coach decided that in order to continue the success he had realized to a great level…he would have to change.

He self-assessed.

He had won championships. He had great and national acclaim.

But he and his team and his system had grown stale, outdated and suffered through two seasons of mediocrity. There were calls for his dismissal.

In that summer of 1971, Paul Bryant took his coaches away from their campus to learn a new System.

He told them they were going to learn a new offense called the  “wishbone”…and furthermore, they were going to sink or swim with it.

He knew that committed change was necessary and needed.

He was willing to take a great risk, change and execute the effort to excel with a new way…rather than stay safe and fade into the mediocrity his team had faded into.

He won over 100 games in the next ten years, three championships and won more games than any major college coach had, by the time he retired.

After reaching a point of crisis, he assessed himself and his program and took necessary, although risky steps. Greater success followed than had been achieved before.

The same thing has occurred with so many great successful people. 

“To improve…. you have to be able to self assess.”

Spiritually. Physically. Maritally. Occupationally.

Do it.

Be courageous and do it continually, before a crisis arises.

It goes against human nature to get introspective when all is well.

Weather changes.

So do situations.

Do the assessment.

Ask the hard, but necessary questions of yourself.

It is worth the risk.

August, 2017

The PUSH

Have you felt the push of the Holy Spirit?

It can be a physical experience.

It might be only an emotional thing.

I feel it in my chest and in my throat.

It’s a push that is not like any other
Inclination or feeling.

It occurs in me in response to certain music, the words to a song, the words of a talk or sermon, the words I read.

There is a stimuli.

And there is a response.

The stimuli comes to us.
The response is from us.

Stimuli occurs more often than we respond.

If I am pursuing the Presence of The Lord, if I am reading His Word…. if I am reading something written by
someone guided and directed by Him…stimuli will occur.

He says if we seek Him …..
we will find Him.

When that stimuli occurs…

humility arises

conviction can come

It’s not condemnation…
but conviction will come if there is separation or distance because of our decisions of disobedience or our lack of confession.

Truth is revealed.

The falseness of what we might be involved in fades and truth gets its clarity……

when we seek His Presence.
Listen to Francesca Battistelli sing her song, HOLY SPIRIT.

It rings with a call to His Presence,
of His Majesty, of the opportunity and then the need to welcome Him to wherever you are.

Some think it is a call for The Presence to be welcomed to a corporate worship service.

It is.

It is also much more.

I spoke those words to myself during a Sunday service a while back and an awareness arose in me.

That song and the desire for God’s Presence is not limited to a church service.

For me,
it is a call for God’s Spirit to

settle upon me

to dwell in the chambers of my heart and the corridors of my mind.

It can be for everyone in a gathering…and for me individually.

As when you dive into a body of water…

you are engulfed in the water as is anyone else in it….

but, that water is on you.

It remains on you after you exit the
water…and you look and feel drenched.

Until it drys or you towel it off.

The Spirit of God can engulf you.

It will be in and on you. 

More penetratable than water, it will enter into you.

If The Presence enters into your
own individual heart….
the true place of worship…

your worship is more long lasting and effective

because it is within you.

You made a choice to receive Its Presence into the Church you control more than the Church you attend.

The worship center of your mind and heart,

 that you have dominion over 

is the place where God’s Spirit needs to be …

more than the place you drive to and attend on Sundays.

Seek daily that Presence.

Pursue that Presence.

Request that Presence to abide in you.

It was granted to you the day of your spiritual birth.

But just as your child is granted to you the day of their physical birth and will always be your child …

your awareness of them and your
familiarity with them is enhanced and will deepen the more you are around them.

So it is with the Spirit of God.
And more so because you are not merely around It…..
It will be present within you.

Pursue It.

He will push you toward it because He longs for communion with you.

Be aware of the Push.

Respond to the stimuli.

To quote The One Who gave It to us…
“Receive ye  the Holy Spirit”.

Don’t do it

A few years ago, a friend was playing in his front yard with his four year old son.

The ball they were playing with rolled out onto the street.

The boy naturally went to get the ball.

My friend stopped him and gave him the words all parents have spoken many times…. 

“Don’t go out in the street”.

All the child saw was his ball.

It’s what he wanted.

My friend, standing there watching his son look out toward the ball, knew of other, greater concerns.

The boy looked up at his father…
looked out towards his ball…
and
without the voice telling him and then the firm hand on the small shoulder… 

the boy would have gone out into  “danger”.

My friend knew the boy only saw his ball…..
and did not understand the stern warning or firm hand holding him.

If you have the ability to reason…
you know where this thread is leading.

But the young boy did not possess that same reasoning ability.

He was four years old.

Likewise….
we do not possess the understanding to completely trust and be comfortable in the events orchestrated by The Father Who stands next to us as we look out at what we feel we must have.

Boys grow to be men.

We will not grow to be Him.

Christ told the men He chose and led…that there were things He could not tell them then.

We, also, will never possess enough reason or wisdom to grasp all of why …The One Who guides us …. does what He does.

It’s like the boy standing and looking out toward his ball.

We want what we want
when we want it….
and we cannot fathom why we cannot have it.

It’s beyond us.

Its beyond a four year old to be able to grasp an adults reasoning.

Take that to an infinite multiple
and you have our position with God.

We do try….
and with age
and gifted discernment from scriptural studies,
and maybe some spiritual impartation…
we can grow into a surface understanding or maybe a submitted mindset in relation to the things we see Him do.

Understand this….
there are unseen things He does
of which we will not know
nor may ever understand ….

even when we see Him as He is.

As the young boy looking out at the ball in the street…
seeing what he wanted…
looking up at his father saying,
“It’s just right there”…

don’t do it.

We cannot understand the reasoning.

Never will.

Not enough capacity.

July 2017

I am Mephibosheth

No matter the age, no matter the number of years one has lived, we all know our own faults and weaknesses.

Some are visible.

Some are known only to one’s self.

A few years ago a writer, local to
me, wrote a very introspective book….

The True Measure of a Man.

One statement in the book stood out to me ….
“One of the greatest fears in a man’s life is the fear of being found to be a fraud.”

I spent the trip I was on while reading that book looking inward and inspecting my life and work and walk ….and found myself remembering moments of failure, times of fraudulent words or behavior.

If one truly examines their life there will be times such as I recalled in mine.

Some were unintentional.

Many were fully intentional.

Introspection such as this will lead
you into shame, humility, maybe fear of being unmasked.

Introspection such as this is good and proper …..
only to the extent it results in cleansing ….

and the recollection of Who it was that rescued us from the depths of regret and shame.

Continual dwelling in those recollections can be a sin unto itself.

Once, I found myself dwelling in the recollection of a behavior which was diametrically opposed to who and what I was and aspired to be.

And I caught myself glorying in it.

Glorying in what initially brought me to feel shame.

That, to me, can be the worst type of iniquity in a Believers life.

I am grateful that the One Who leads me in paths away from that thought process and behavior… Intervened and led me away from remaining in that darkness.

For that is what a spiritually guided life is….we may get caught in the weakness brought on by ourselves or this world….and before we set up a household on that cliff…
we are reminded of who we are and drawn back into the life we have been purchased into.

The Second King of Israel had a closer-than-blood friend. After the friends death, David came upon the son of his fallen friend.

Mephibosheth was brought in by the King to dwell in the Palace…. given great privilege and prominence only because he was Jonathan’s son.

He was crippled.

He was afflicted.

Yet, even with those visible afflictions, he was given that prominent position and special privilege ….and appeared perfectly normal ….. 

sitting with his feet under the table of the King.

His faults were covered by the
Kings Favor at The King’s Table.

My faults and fraudulence are covered by The Kings Favor….at His Table.

I cannot venture away from that
gifted privilege or I will appear uncovered and my weaknesses and the darkness I chose to walk into will be revealed.

If Mephibosheth walked out of the
privileges granted him he would have also seen his own faults. 

Remembered them.

Maybe been brought down by them.

I must keep my feet under that table.

I must continually make my dwelling in those Courts I was brought into by The One Who watches over me.

For I am Mephibosheth….
living a gifted existence,
having my numerous deficiencies
excused and covered by The Favor of One I can never repay.

July 18, 2017

QUANTITY Matters More

Yesterday, Fathers Day, you were most likely honored in some way by your children.

Could be you took the day “off”

If your children are young….
up to about 35….
they still need you to take very few days “off”

You should never quit “fathering”

Our Heavenly Father does not.

Never abdicate your role.

If your children are under college age….
they need a large QUANTITY of your time.

Please do not subscribe to the fallacy of “quality” time.

It’s a pacifier for the guilt of a father too busy to give himself to his children…..or wife.

It’s a tease.

You can tease your children with
“quality” time.

They will take it because any thirsty
human will take a small drink of water.

But it will harm them eventually.

And they will seek that drink from another “cistern”.

Choose to give them the best parts of you…..

not what’s left over.